My computer is performing a background check, apparently: all very ominous. Amazing how it has a mind of its own. Ah! Apparently it's found and fixed various threats. Very good of it.

I think I ought either to visit Specsavers or book an appointment to see someone. (Ha ha.) You remember I told you last night that we had acquitted ourselves with distinction in handing in sheets, pillowcases, etc.? Well, it transpires that I must have been only half awake, as I discovered, to my great surprise, three baskets in the common room this morning. Apparently, it was towels and flannels that were submitted and not, as I had assumed, the rest of the laundry as described last night. Anyway ...... oh, I've had enough of talking about laundry: let's move on. (Although I did have to enquire about Miss Alex's mathematical skills when I heard her telling Mrs C that there was 'one more pants and socks to come'. Strange, but not as bizarre as a response I found myself writing to a parent of a tutee, who had expressed concern that her son was not attending all of his Mandarin classes: 'Dear Mrs X, Thank you for your message. I will look into the Mandarin ...... ' I couldn't help but smile at the surreal sight in my mind as I peeled a tangerine while watching Ice Road Truckers.)

There's been a great deal of bed-swapping tonight - by which I mean (he says, quickly) people have been transferring their locations in the dorms. Everyone who's moved has elected to do so, and everyone seems happy with the arrangement, so all is well.

During the removals, we found time for a joke or two, with my own contribution being the one about a chap who wanted to buy a parrot, went to the pet shop, was offered one that looked cute, other than the fact that one eye was in the normal place and the other eye was two inches higher. When the owner returned to his house, he wondered what he should call his new pet. The answer was blindingly obvious, of course, and if you'd like to submit your suggestions to my e-mail address I shall look forward to reading them tomorrow.

Quick-wittedness seems to have been the order of the evening, as when I was told by one of our new members that biscuits were being served in the common room, I gave my customary response, 'Crumbs!' Usually, that just gets a vague smile or a look of hopeless sympathy, but tonight, quick as a flash, the rejoinder of 'That really takes the biscuit' served to impress. We then moved on to the subject of Latin imperatives. Which was a bit hard to digest. (Sorry, it's late and it's the best I can do.)

That'll do for tonight.

Goodnight - and thanks for reading.