Not much to report tonight, folks, as Mrs C and I are off duty as from 11.30am on Tuesdays, and the excellent services of Mr Bryan have ensured that all has gone without incident. I mowed the front lawn this morning, and made it look relatively stunning, causing one resident to exclaim enthusiatically about what a lovely area it is, when he came back to lodge to collect a book. Being the boy he is, I'm pretty sure that he was, indeed, collecting a book, rather than using the expression somewhat euphemistically, and in a way that probably involved contraband - not that we have anything like that in Newton ....... of course. Oh don't worry, I'll find it: I've even been known to discover illegal goodies stashed behind firebells before now - although to be fair, that was in Mayfield, not in Newton. Teddies with distended rumens are always a giveaway, mattresses, pillowcases, and, in days of yore, within the tubing that forms the frame of a bed.

So, there it is. Oh yes, that reminds me: I said it was the Cardinal in 'Amadeus' who kept on trotting those words out: of course it was the Emperor himself. Come on, readers, shape up ....

Goodnight all.