It's been a good day. All of our - sorry, your - Newtonians have been in great spirits, and much pleasure has been enjoyed. I've just bid goodnight to Miss Chloe's parents, who are over here following their European tour, and very charming they were, too. They return to Oz on Wednesday, and we're very much hoping that we shall catch up with them again before they depart.

Chapel was a fine experience for all of us, although there's always a limit as to how much I can see from my perch on the organ stool, and the Chaplain spoke to us lucidly about 'Journeys', complete with maps, orienteering equipment and the inevitable GPS. I must confess that although we tended to adopt a somewhat philistinic approach to such gizmos, we would have ended up in some pretty strange places without ours during our French odyssey in the summer! (Although the less said about the altercation that arose between the GPS lady, Mrs C and your correspondent, as we endeavoured to set our various courses through the fine city of Rouen, the better. Our three young adults, sitting in the back, found it very hard to stifle their extreme mirth, of course.) (I still think I was right, btw.)

I wish, oh I really wish, you could have seen the scene in the Clubhouse tonight. 'Help for Heroes' was on, as I'm sure many of you will know, and one of the acts was performed by a gentleman whom, I believe, goes by the name of 'Plan B'. Well, his song, it seems, brings out the less timid side of Newtonians, and within a few bars about 20 of our residents were on their feet, singing and dancing to the music. Of course, being the ageing rocker that I am, and with remote control in my hand, I found myself transported back to my youth, and, having checked that Mrs C was out of sight, or, more importantly, hearing range, 'pumped up' the volume. That went well.

And had I not been acting gapper matron earlier in the evening, due to Miss Chloe and her parents missing their train back from London, I don't think I would have got away with it, either. Oh my word, how on earth do you ladies do it? 'It's simple, all you have to do is put their leagues and cords on the front left of their shelves', instructed Swmbo. Simple. Yeah, right. First, where are their leagues. Second, where are their cords. Half of them don't, apparently, have leagues, and the other half don't appear to have cords. How, then, dear readers, does my beloved spouse of 29 years manage to give such a look of exasperation, reach into the depths of the lockers and, by employing her prestidigitational (that was good!) skills, locate the aformentioned articles without issue???

No, I won't be applying for a gapper post when I retire in two years' time. Trust me.

Night night.