Sme us were fortunate enough to be given an impromptu piano recital tonight. What happened was, you see, that the background music that I was playing on my 'sound system' (old-fashioned hi-fi, in fact) was Debussy's 'Clair de lune', and from behind the door popped half a dozen enquiring heads. Looking disappointed that it was neither I nor Tom (with whom I was discussing car insurance) who was playing, I noticed that one of the heads was joined to the rest of a body that formed a particularly musical whole. I invited the owner of same to play, reminding him of the words of my first headmaster (yes, that's right, the one who told me the limerick about the Jill that I can't tell you for reasons of decency: suffice it to say that atomic pills come into it) who told me that it was always considered impolite to refuse an invitation to play the piano at a social function if one had been blessed with such a gift. I was delighted that my invitation was accepted and we were all treated to a fine performance of a lovely piece from the romantic period.

It's been a very pleasant, fruit-chomping, table-tennis playing, telly-watching, piano-enhancing evening in Newton tonight, and apart from one particular resident advising me that I needed to shed a few kilos, all has gone swimmingly. Particularly in the upstairs bathroom. As for my dietary advisor, he needed to be sat upon and squashed. (Metaphorically, of course.)

Gute nacht.