Oh my goodness! What an evening! Two of the gappers of yesteryear turned up, wanting to be fed and watered, They were.

Dr Dean was on duty in my absence, and, as ever, he's done a great job: but I returned from the feeding and watering to discover that one or two residents had taken advantage of the good doctor's better nature (and he's one of the kindest people you'll ever meet) and were, shall we say, 'chatting after lights out'. I went into smooth MI5 mode. (Remember that?!) The dialogue was straight out of 'Spooks'. I spoke quietly:

"So. You wish to 'chat', do you? I think not."

"But sir .................. "

"Er, no, I think not." (Silence ensued.)

"Let us agree, gentlemen, that there will be silence until tomorrow morning." (Silence.)

"Good. Very good."

I stroked Jasmine.

"Not a sound, then," I said, quietly, but with a faint whiff of menace. Silence.

Oh what a career I missed. Friendly, personable, affable: cool, even.

But don't upset me.

Night night.