Christmas, it seems, has arrived early. The most enormous, as well as the heaviest, bar of chocolate has arrived in Newton - and, frankly, I've never seen anything like it! Like all excited recipients of gifts, I have felt it all over and there seem to be me to be two options: one, that it is one great slab that can be carved up into Newtonian-sized chunks, or, alternatively, it's made up of individual bars that can de dispensed as and when. Whatever the case, it is hugely (!) appreciated, and to our generous benefactor I'd like to say an enormous thank you. Or, more appropriately, merci mille fois.

Nothing much to report about last night, really: everyone returned happily and set about the usual Sunday night business of watching a bit of X-Factor and tucking into fruit, chunky Kit-Kats (not as chunky as the above, though!), crisps and, no doubt, one or two illicit items of confectionery that have made their way into the lodge ....... ! (Oh don't worry, thirteen years in Mayfield taught me where to look for it. In the mattress, in the duvet, in the bed itself, behind the clock (rather a clever one, that, I always thought), in the lampshade (risky, and dangerous) and behind the notice boards. I used to think that that was all pretty exhaustive - until one night I met with the innocent gaze of a teddy. Teddy, I have to tell you, was pretty full that night - and I will spare you the surgical details of his stomach's contents' extraction.)

And that brings me neatly to Manky Cat from Northumberland. It seems that he has been rather down at heel, recently, and travelling around the country. Whilst hoping that he will avail himself of another theatrical opportunity very soon am pleased to say that his stand-in did very well. Remarkably, really, seeing as he started life as a tiger. Until Mrs Sparrow got her hands on him and gave more than just a make-over!