Once I've done my morning rounds, turned on the lights, bidden the troops a, er, cheery 'Good morning' and given the details of the day to those sufficiently compos mentis to assimilate them, I make for the DCR, and await the arrival of those about to depart, if you see what I mean. Usually there is the customary collection of hair issue, collar issues, slipper issues (they forget to to put their shoes on, lest any of you should be thinking back to your own prep school days and fretting) and the rest, so it's always a pleasure when I hear any Newtonian expressing enthusiasm for his academic subjects. Viz:

Him (sleepily): Oh I DO hope we have (name of academic subject withheld) today.

Me: Oh, that's nice: why?

Him: Because I'll be able to go to sleep.

Me: Ah. I see.

You'll be relieved - as was I - to know that it was not one of my own portfolio that was being referred to in such a way. And no, I'm not going to reveal which one it was.

Now, I don't know what you said to your offspring about post-lights-out loquaciousness, but whatever it was, it seems to have done the trick! Last night there wasn't a sound, nor is there any sound tonight - so, thank you, one and all. That's how it's meant to work: as a partnership. Brilliant.

It was brown shoe-cleaning tonight, and we had a further four winners. One LM decided that as he'd won already and was therefore unable to win a second time that he wouldn't be bothered with such frippery, but he soon saw the error of his ways, and returned to the laundry, announcing to Miss (Harriet) Lade 'Miss Lade, I've been rejected!' She took pity on the poor lamb, as per the contract.

I thought that one LM was looking rather stressed tonight, and so I suggested that he took a stress test. You may well be feeling similarly for whatever reason, so may I offer you this one?

It's to be found at

http://www.sodahead.com/living/the-stress-test---very-accurate/blog-186365/

I hope it works for you as it did for him.

Goodnight.