Sorry, loyal Followers. I know some of you will have logged on and found no report, but when you have a daughter whose brother's in Tokyo and sister's in Bristol, notwithstanding that there are daily (if not hourly, sometimes) cat and dog altercations when they're at home, when they're apart they communicate happily via Skype and Facebook - and any chance I might have to get onto the computer (despite my hatred of this machine) is rendered impossible.

However, be that as it may, etc., last night was full of activity, following what was a particularly animated junior school debate on the relative merits of Fairtrade. The motion was that the school should become a Fairtrade school, and, by a whisker, the ayes had it. I was surprised that that the eyes and the noses of those who disagreed didn't get it, too, but all remained calm.

Sh cleaning took place and our ever-helpful shoeshine boys were on hand. All manner of games were happening, and TV was available, too, for those who favoured a simple dose of escapism

I had, until last night, a huge box full of electrical stuff. In looking for a particular lead, which I found, I tipped the whole lot out onto the floor of our drawing room, whereupon three terrific volunteers stepped forward (eager for the pickings) and untangled a few miles of cable. Fantastic!

This morning I informed the throng in the common room that, unfortunately, as I had had to sack the last Newton servant, they would have to collect their own black shoes from the corridor and replace them in the lockers. One particular resident, who decided that he would engage with the irony, walked, with nose in the air, past me, opining that this was 'terrible news', picked up his shoes as if they were pieces of the worst kind of dirt, then walked back again, tutting at my thoughtlessness in getting rid of the aforementioned servant and replaced the offending items.

Quality place, this.