I have just walked in on the most politically incorrect television programme in the world. It's called, apparently, 'Take me out', and, from what I can glean, involves single people who've been unable to pinpoint their chosen partner and have therefore resorted to displaying this particular aspect of their lives to a few million members of this sceptred isle - as well as a few other international locations around the planet, thanks to BBC iPlayer. I will not get involved with describing the reasons as to why various possible partners are rejected, for to do so would be very rude indeed. I think it was Bernard Shaw who said that one knows whether one is going to get along with someone from the second they open their mouth. (He it was, incidentally, who enquired of some particularly boring guests at a dinner party, "Oh, must you stay, can't you go?" A line which most of us, if we're honest, from time to time, have wished we could use.)

Anyway, back to this awful programme; one which seems to me to be the very nadir of broadcasting, imho. At the opening of the 'festivities', a plethora of young ladies, ranging from the beautiful to the, er, well, the, um, not so beautiful, walked down the stairs of the studio. I couldn't help but notice that one of our residents' faces was particularly close to the screeen.

"Er, X, this is you." I then moved towards the screen myself (and immediately realsied that this was a big mistake) and exaggerated the extent to which X's face was pressed against the screen, for which I was rewarded by a (tall) wit from within Upper Third with

"Don't worry, sir, we won't tell Mrs Cheater."

Still, as I said to one of the Curlew viewers, at least the bloke selecting his choice managed to get the right answer. (Imo.)

Thank you for watching me on the telly, btw, and also for your generous comments. If you haven't watched it and would like to, simply log on to BBC Oxford TV and you'll be able to watch it on iPlayer - at least until midnight. I can give you the radio link if you'd like it; just e-mail me at the usual generic staff address (prc@, etc.) and I'll let you know.

Until tomorrow.