Today, dear Friends and global Followers, Mrs C and I have made a giant step into the 20th century. (The 21st is some way off yet.) We, no doubt like most of you, are now BlackBerry owners, capable of all manner of trendy stuff (like making references to 'trendy stuff'), and have been e-mailing, texting and BBM-ing our respective offspring throughout the day. All very exciting, and modern. As I type, I keep looking at my new friend, awaiting its little red light to flash again ... ! It's new toy syndrome, of course, and I'll be fed up with the thing in a week's time, but for now, well, I'm enjoying my new found skills.

You'd think, would you not, that there might be sufficient wildlife in Newton, but all the LMs wanted to enhance their understanding of such things by watching what the BBC euphemstically calls 'Planet Live'. (Live? I don't think so.) Still, despite what others think, as reported in the Press, I think Richard Hammond's rather good at the job, although one can't help that he's more suited to Jaguars than jaguars.

Thus the following dialogue, for your enjoyment:

LM 1: Ah, that's lovely. That's incredible.

Paws. Sorry, pause.

LM 1 again: Oh! That's amazing! Wow!

Bigger paws. Pause.

LM 1 yet again: Oh! That's incredible photography!

Longer pause while felines laze around doing not much.

LM 1 again: Ahhh. How cute. I love tigers.

LM 2: They're lions.

Collapse of stout party.

I'm off to play with my new toy. Send me a message if you like.

Goodnight.