Thanks to the parents' evening, and after many very agreeable conversations with Fifth Year parents,I strolled back into Newton just after my dear wife had extinguished all of the lights. By that I mean that she had turned them out, rather than that they went out as a result of her blowing a fuse.

Such casual behaviour on my part meant that I had to wait until this morning (after a rather fitful night, spent, for the most part, worrying about Tom spending time in the Land of the Rising Sun. Ha! There's an phonetic irony: land of the rising son! As if. Still, you never know) until I saw the decorations and Christmas trees festooning the dorms! I think a little bit of licence was taken as far as the interpretation of when such adornment of the sleeping quarters might occur, but as the deputy headmaster did not visit Newton last night I think they (i.e.: we) got away with it. And it does make the place look very jolly.

I forgot to tell you that Diana was savaged in Lloyds Bank the other day. Oh don't worry, it was only verbally. When she told me about her unfortunate encounter I couldn't help but think that if I'd been a bank robber and seen what awaited me I would have nipped up the road to HSBC. Perhaps Lloyds have started a new security initiative. (Oh smacked hand. I'm a great fan of 'Mock the Week'. I know it's outrageous and I shouldn't be.)

All of the residents were very sleepy this morning when I woke them, but they soon got into gear and they were all out of lodge punctually. I've been feeling slightly under the weather for the past three days and this culminated in my developing a very seductive voice this morning. Not great for a lodge parent, of course, for all kinds of reasons, but I was touched by one, who, on hearing me acknowledge his 'good morning' with a voice that sounded like gravel rolled in treacle, enquired, 'Are you all right, sir?'

I'm fine. Especially as Mr Bryan's on duty tonight. I can go to bed with a hot toddy. Not the innuendos, if you don't mind.